Be forewarned. This is a post about nothing.
I’ve been thinking a lot about health and longevity lately. When I turned 45 last year, it dawned on me that I had reached the midpoint of my life and the time ahead of me was fleeting and precious. Dramatic, I know, but at the same time I really do believe I only have a small window to turn the ship around on any lingering health issues. Five years tops. I do not drink from the blood of virgins like J.Lo (who basically looks the same as she did during the Bennifer days).
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been assembling a new medical team here in Portland to get my health in order. Finding new doctors suck. Half the time the folks that you want to see aren’t taking new patients and another 25% don’t have an appointment available for months. There is no Tinder for doctors that makes it easier for us.
Happily, I found a naturopath that I love. Dr. Furtek is bright and fresh out of school and just the right type of enthusiastic you want in a resident. So what if she has minimal experience? She asks me about my poop every time I see her and that cracks us both up. I feel that’s worth at least 10 years, right?
What we both know about my health now is that despite the need to shed a few or 50 pounds – for the most part – I am in excellent health. I know this because they took about 10 vials of blood and ran the full spectrum of blood tests to check everything under the hood. There are a few things to figure out – my high c-reactive protein (inflammation) levels are high, I’m extremely low in Vitamin D and Iron and I have a small pesky adenoma (tumor) on my adrenal gland that is causing uncontrollable high blood pressure. And oh yeah, my microbiome needs some help too. Fixing all this seems completely doable. I do not have cancer. Or narcolepsy. Or diabetes. I am winning.
So here I am, starting a 30-day cleanse after 2-day bone broth fast. Can you get more cliche? Or Portlandia?
I don’t think so, and I don’t really care.
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TLDR: Be Cool
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